Meltdown

Having a meltdown is not okay.

There is got to be a reason why.

For me, my mother push me to the edge.

Just because I wanted to see if Tyler is okay.

He did not stream on Mixer, yesterday.

I know he did not today.

I hope he's okay.

But, with my mother chewing gum like a cow eats their cud (grass) and flipping out on me.

I am not happy.

I have a meltdown.

2018 was eh.

To the people we lost this year.

We carry in our hearts.

To the good we keep.

To the bad we hope it would fade away.

2018 was eh.

I hope 2019 will be better.

I hope to see my family in Florida soon.

I could be very distance from my family.

However, I just want to be happy again.

2018 was eh.

2019 will be better, I hope.

I wish it snow on Christmas

It's a few days until Christmas.

It did not snow.

I wish it snow on Christmas.

So I can share it.

Saying that wish you were here.

It did snow on Christmas.

But, I know it's not true.

So, I will wait until the new year.

I wish it snow on Christmas.

I am not

I am not doing it again.

Not tweeting at him this Christmas Eve.

Despite I been hearing much of him.

Or see much of him from one of the female wrestlers I follow on Instagram.

It hurts me so much.

My friend knows that I am hurt of mentioning him.

I need to move on.

My happiness is in the form of someone else.

Someone who I like.

I hope that I don't lose this.

I lost the one.

I am not going lose this one too.

I hope you are fine

I am worry about you.
You left a message.
I hope you are not under stress.
As much as I.
I was hoping to see you stream.
But tomorrow, I will wait.
I hope you will be fine by then.
I am thinking about you.
You have made me laugh.
On your post for Christmas.
This is better than seeing someone else who makes me sad and sick.
I hope you will be streaming again tomorrow.
To see your face.
I hope you are fine.

A Very Unusual Christmas

This Christmas is going to be unusual.
I want to watch someone on Twitch.
Because I did not ask anything for Christmas.
It's very unusual.
Plus, I don't know what I will get from the deepy government.
I feel I will get no money.
But, all I do not want to do this Christmas is to deal with my mother.
Because she is mad.

How to defy my Happiness

How to defy my happiness?
You can't.
My mother and my father are trying so hard, they only makes me angry and upset!
They believe getting a job in some boring place and to make friends.
That is lies.
No one want to be my friend.
No one wants to hire me!
They want someone who is a male, someone who serve the war, someone who is a woman who is skinny, someone who would be paid at the average in the state!
That won't make me happy.
That's their way to defy my happiness.

Being a content creator.
Being a streamer.
Playing games.
Vlogging my anger.
Doing reviews and hulls!
Watching others!
That's what I want.
To be happy.
To defy it would be a sin.

Because you don't want me to be upset.
You want me to be happy.
You want me to be me.
All I want to be supported too.
Just let me be.

My madness

What do I need to do?

Oh please don't say that!

I refuse to do so!

You are making me feel so angry!

Stop with the stupid!

This is my madness!

My mother don't listen to me.

My father is mean!

My brother is being a bum!

I want to go to my comfort.

My bedroom and my tv.

Where I can go on to the YouTube app.

Just to watch Tyler play Minecraft.

The Bird Gang

When it's that time of year is happening now.

Which team do I go for?

Why it's the bird gang.

I bleed green!

It's the pride of this family has!

The team that we trust!

In Philadelphia we trust!

We high fly!

We are the team that soar!

It's the guys that fight for the first Superbowl win!

Wait that happened this past February.

Uh, can they do it again?

Maybe.

Why?

Because the golden boy...no, not Golden Tate, but he is working to that spot.

It's Nick Foles, we trust!
It's Wendell Smallwood, we trust!
It's Alshon Jeffery, we trust!

Philadelphia Eagles man!

The Bird Gang!

Sweets

Chocolate, candy, pies, cookies, biscottis, cake, doughnuts, and ice cream.
I want them all!
Dark, white, green tea, coconut, strawberries, vanilla, banana, and almond.
Delightful flavors.
I want to make some or buy some.
From different countries there are.
But most are famous here in the US.
Don't give me too much or I will have a sugar rush!
Or worse...

How can he be nervous, when I am nervous of him!

Tell me something.
How can someone be nervous when streaming on a platform?
How can he be so nervous, when I am nervous at him!
He admits that he has stage fright due to his team.
Yet, I am nervous, just tagging him on Instagram.
Maybe we are nervous about something.
Just why is this happening?

This is the last Straw!

Stop with the lies!
Tell the truth!
Don’t give me excuses!
This is the last straw!
No more bullcrap!
No more words that can hurt me!
Be honest!
Don’t lie!
Tell me now!
This is the last straw!
I am done with you!

I have a crush on you

You make me happy.
You make me blush.
You make me laugh.
You make me mad.
You make my heart jump.
You make my stomach jump.

I have a crush on you.

This Christmas, I want to see you.

This Christmas is something more different then last year.
I do want to spend it with you.
But, our families are way more important.
I know that you will be busy.
So, will I.
But, all I want to see your smiling face this year.
We are getting older and we are adults.
But, our families have to understand that we are in love.
This Christmas, I want to see you.
No ifs, ands, or buts.

Winter wish

Winter wishes.
Hearts desire.
One wish for me is to see you.
I don't care how we look to each other.
Just letting you know how much I appreciate of you.
If this is a sin.
So let it be.
I will be different for you.
Forever in your heart.
This is my winter wish.
Just to see you.

Happening Again.

I am so nervous.
Why?
It's because of Tyler.
I really have been enjoying him.
I know he has been going through alot.
After revealing that he had a bad breakup.
Having stress.
Now working on a world for Minecraft Bedrock.

But, what is going on?
I feel this is happening again.
I don't want to happening again.
When I was on Meza's discord.
I was thinking about going back on X33N's.
But, this is different.
Because, this is Tyler.
The funny guy.
The business guy.
The guy who is nice.
The guy who saw my Instagram stories around Thanksgiving.
The only guy who voted in my poll to come to his discord.

Aye.

The Twitch Woes

Last night I got a gift sub to X33N on Twitch.

Makes me wish I could go back watching Meza.

I made a post that people should change my mind.

Because I rather prefer enjoy to watch Tyler aka Logdotzip on YouTube.

He is such a great guy.

Unless something would make me not watching him anymore.

Of course there is Jordan aka CaptainSparklez.

His subreddit is so silly.

Maybe I need to watch him more often.

I miss watching AngelKyone, but mistakes were made.

I can't fix them, because Twitch won't let me!

Maybe after my free sub gift to X33N ends, I can start anew.

Let me reinduce myself.

I am Lindsie Rodger.

Formally Lindsie Starr and Miss Lindsie Starr.