Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Salty stuff

I question my choices.
To what reason?
It's because I am open stuff up.
Nothing about my preferences.
It's about some salty stuff.
Who is it?
I have a long list.
I don't know express it.
If you want to know.
Just ask.
Maybe we would find out what it is.

Monday, November 20, 2017

What happened on Saturday? A venting poem.

Anger I had.
Mad as can be.
What happened on Saturday?
Just have to ask.
I wasn't happy to see him.
He was still bald.
Have new ring gear.
Calling himself, "The Truth".
Yet, I still mad at him.
I know him as a jerk.
Why?
I tweeted at him a few times.
No response.
I feel like he hates me.
I block him.
Don't make me unblock him.
It was asked before.
That did not go well.
I don't want to make it worse already.
I rather him block me.
That is all.

I want to know much of him.
I did not expect that he has anxiety, like I do.
However, this is for the best to keep what I said is what I want.
I want him to block me.
Because I hate him and I am sure he hate me.

Sunday, November 19, 2017

Icy Heart. Fire Heart. A Loving Poem.

Icy heart.
Fire heart.
My heart is so icy.
But, his is so fire.
I have been stabbed by others.
But, his heart shield it.
He knows that I need the love.
I know that he cares.
My heart has been so icy.
But, his heart that is fire, warm my heart.
With the love that we have.
My heart is warming up.
The world is granting us the blessing.
We are the ones who are in love.

Thursday, November 16, 2017

That Look

I know it's been a while.
I am not going to blame the photographer on this.
He took the photo and I forgot that there was a man with handsome and his looks seen.
It felt like you want to kiss it.
I forgot how excellent that was taken.
I want the madness to stop.
He already push me away.
I already move on!
But, why this is linger?
Please tell me why?

Strife against...

I am in a strife situation.
My mother is making me upset.
I need to be happy.
But, yesterday she made me sad.
I felt like I did not want to stream.
I failed everyone.
I failed myself.
I let her win yesterday.
Today I am not.
This is me.
I will not give up.
I will fight until the end!

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

The dream that is different

I had a dream.
Unlike any other dream.
The dream was so different.
I am starting to know why.
It’s because I know that this has me hearing the voice.
The voice that has said my name before.
The voice belongs to him.
It’s so serious that this would happen.
I dream that he and I were seeing each other in many ways.
Also, a picture that is shown a thousand words.
I see him in the suit.
It’s makes him so handsome.
Just how I saw it on his videos and streams.
I was different.
It’s so real.
But, I know it was a dream.

Monday, November 13, 2017

The neighbor

When someone you know so long is on the edge of death.
Questions are looming.
Is she fine?
Is she okay?
What happened to her?
My mother believes that she was not doing good.
I don't want to pry.
I know that family has gone through stuff.
Deaths, wedding, birth, anything.
They had a life.
But, the question will be.
Will she be okay?

Sunday, November 12, 2017

Trying to enjoy a stream

I am watching Meza stream Stellaris.
Someone is being mean to him.
Telling him what to do.
I want to enjoy his stream.
But, for someone is being rude.
I feel like I want to punch that user.
But, I will let Riza fried him.
She has more power then I do.
I just want to enjoy the stream and MEZA!

Saturday, November 11, 2017

Weird day

It’s cold.
My hands are cold.
I need to be warm.
Watching Meza on Twitch.
Still can’t say anything to him.
This is a very weird day.
What is wrong with me?
Don’t be afraid.
Just say hi to him.
Just to let him know!
He will be happy.

Yes, I know he will.

We thank you

In this time of age.
While terrible things are going on.
We should be thanking those who serve our country.
No matter if it's Veterans Day or Remembrance Day.
This is a day of thanks to those who are serve in the wars.
From World War II to the war against terrorism.
We thank you for your service.
No matter how someone disrespect you.
You deserve our gratitude.
Even it's just one day.
This should last a lifetime.
We thank you for your service.

To you...

The names that I know.
The faces to tell me.
What I need to know.
From my family.
To the people I am starting to build and gain trust.
I have feelings for some.
But, the problem is that my mother can't accept you all.
No matter if I explain her to you.
To her, she will believe that you don't exist.
She feels that you are someone else.
Even if you show yourself to her.
Still won't believe.
To everyone who has been there.
To the lives.
To friendships.
To love.
To everyone.
This is how it is.
My life is becoming weird.

To you...this is me.

This poem will not make any sense.

Our friendship could be in danger.
I did not want to tell her about someone else.
Someone who lives in London.
Someone was originally from Budapest.
Someone who plays games as I do.
I don't want to tell her about him.
I rather be focus on what we have in common.
Wrestling and poetry.

I can't explain that I knew about him from another.
How can I?
I would have to start from the beginning.
Please don't make me go there.
I am so doom!

Why am I freaking out?
Well, because I post something on Instagram.
Something that heck, I don't want my mother see.
I wish I can tell them all.
MY MOTHER DON'T LIKE ALL OF YOU!
Because she knows that you don't exists.

I am sorry my friends.
Both who I wish I could tell.
But, until you know the real me.
I am just a fool.

Say something

The handsome that you are.
The looks make me want to smile.
I want to tell you that you look handsome.
But, the words are not there.
You see me looking so beautiful.
The words you said make me have confidence.
I speak back.
Telling you the words I want to say.
You smile back.

Friday, November 10, 2017

People who I know

My mind is wondering.
A huge group of people.
From different countries.
From different lifestyles.
To what are these people to me?
I know them.
It's my favorites.
It's the ones who I like.
However, they don't know I exists.
I have a terrible mindset.
Just a sad thing to say.

Tuesday, November 7, 2017

Family drama

All I wanted was not to deal with it.
The instant my mother did.
I need to stop it.
This was nothing about Russians.
This was about a mad man who used to work at Goldman Saks.
Bashing on a gun toting innocent woman about a scandal that she was not involved.
It's pathetic that my father would go there.
Just to trigger me.
What's worse that my mother kept it going.
Neither my brother and I want this.
Although, he told me to eat my own words.
All I wanted is a calm day.
Just wait until I get to watch someone who wants to see me smile.
But, no!
Not to this family!
The family of miserable and outdated jokes!
It's 2017!
Not 1997!

The Winter Night

It's a cold night.
So cold.
It is Winter.
It's so mad that I am alone.
Without you, why I feel to look.
I need your warmth.
I need your love.
I need you to tell me that it would be fine.
I wish to see you at this night.
I wait for you.

You come to me.
You see me.
You know that you need me as I need you.
You show me something that I need to see.
The landscape is in a field of snow with the darkness seen.
It is a winter night.
You grab me and hold me tight.
You whisper sweet things in my ear.
Then we kiss.

The winter night.
You tell me that you love me.
You won't let go.
You want me to stay.
Stay is what I want.
To never let go of this moment.

Monday, November 6, 2017

Kiwi the Artist

There is a woman known as Kiwi.
She is a friend of X33N's.
She is responsible for most of his thumbnails on YouTube.
She does many art work, which it's drawling.
She also plays Minecraft, which she is a savage.
Just watch her on X33N's Sunday stream of Minecraft.
She also did some custom Minecraft items for X33N.
Like the custom head mask of X33N in real life, which X33N says that it does not look like him.
I believe if you release her on any server that has games, she will dominate it.
I am sure if you put her against Thea Nicka, Kiwi will beat her.
Also, why is she called Kiwi?
Because she is from New Zealand.

Sunday, November 5, 2017

A letter (A poem)

Dear Meza,
Thank you for the stream today.
I enjoy it.
I really love that you want to share the fireworks in London.
I wish I could return the favor.
I want to stream the annual Christmas lighting in my hometown.
But, you would be asleep by then, because of the time difference.
I will have it available.
I want to invite everyone that you know.
Including Riza, Astrid, X33N, Angel, Leumas, Mad, Chibi.
It would be fun, wishing all of you would be here.
But, I don't know.
Also, I want to say sorry.
I was typing and yet, I could not come to myself.
I will do more often.

Lindsie

Ps. You look dapper and lovely.

It's hard for me

It's hard for me to say hi to him.
I don't know why?
My heart beats.
Is it because I am shy?
I want to have confidence, but I feel I don't.
Please tell me why?
I need the answer.
Maybe the stream he is doing making it so romantic.
Despite it's daytime here and it's nighttime where he is at.
Aye.

The red hair AngelKyone

Beauty and grace could be the start.
With it, red hair at it seems.
She is really funny when it comes to games.
She is the red hair AngelKyone.
She also known as the locker queen.
Because she hides in a locker, when she is playing Alien: Isolation.
She never hold anger at her friends.
She loves glitter and her cat.
She is really a cool woman.
Once you get to know her from her streams.

The Super Match Everyone is Talking About

Playing on my phone.
Game app end up crashing.
Twitter notification goes off.
It's a huge announcement.
This is a super match.
A match everyone will be talking about until it happens.
Why is this talk about?
Why it's much trending?
Why it's Chris Jericho!
That's nuts!
But why?
He challenge Kenny Omega to wrestling match!
It's insane!
He went crazy tweeting at Kenny before the announcement!
Kenny tweet back at him.
It was nuts!
But, now they will settle it!
In a ring.
I know it's crazy.
But, why am I going nuts?
Well it's really cool that this is happening.
And I like Kenny Omega.
Can't you not blame me?

Saturday, November 4, 2017

Help me

My mind wanders into love and sex.
I can't help it.
It's a terrible thing.
I can't handle the problem.
It's just the way I feel.
I try to distract it.
But, my mind is on you.
Even though we are different.
I live in a miserable situation.
You have to save me.
From the madness.
All I need you is to help me.

Twitch Ups and Downs

So much games.
Streaming as much.
Shenanigans are happening.
Happens with a few.
Like Meza, X33N, and Angel.

Why do I like them?
They make me laugh alot.
I am working to get to hang with Meza.
However, I can't use the computer that is mostly use by my mother.
Because she has her work or her Facebook stuff up.
I am worry that it will crash.
Also, I don't have the other stuff.
It's kinda embarrassing.

I am still getting my Twitch channel work on.
To get the partnership I need.
To make sure this would work.
To make the money, yeah.
I will use it to get a gaming computer.
Then I will join Meza.

We are human.

The days are intense.
The trust are strain.
People needs people.
To rely on survival.
To be safe.
To build what is lost.
To gain trust again.
To be human.
Not to be animals.
We need to be kind.
We can't show hate.
It's not who we are.
It's just toxic if we do.
Because it won't end.
We need to support one and another.
We are human.

Friday, November 3, 2017

Stories

There are stories come near and far.
Mine is different in a sense.
Which one should I tell?
Should I tell about my family?
Should I tell about my friends?
Should I tell you what is what?
I don't know.
A lot of reasons are going through my head.
Madness are afar.
Trust is crafted.

But, why it is the way it could be.
I don't know.
Just let me be.
I guess.

Thursday, November 2, 2017

A poem of a Twitch Streamer named Meza

The Twitch life leads me to a man.
Who resides in London.
His Twitch name is vsbMeza3.
But, everyone calls him Meza.
He mostly plays Minecraft.
But, on Saturdays it's something else.
It depends on what he plays.
His mods, Riza and Astrid are really nice.
I really like them all.
He is really entertaining and makes me happy.
Also, he's a mod for X33N.
He also like to watch Ssundee and Crainer too.
If I had a computer that is not in use by family,
I would duel stream with Meza.
It would be nice.

But, it is only a wish.
I still stream with my phone.
I want to join in games with Meza.
I will still fight for it.

Monday, October 30, 2017

Before Halloween

On the day before Halloween.
My notification goes off.
It's Kenny Omega retweeting tweets on Twitter.
But, why is it so, when the first had him not in his wrestling gear?
Well, it's because he was dress up as Princess Jasmine from Aladdin.
I was blushing, turning red no doubt.
Not to mention laughing too.
Why did he do that?
I have a feeling it will be on his YouTube show with The Young Bucks that he does.
Being The Elite is it.
But, I feel weird he dress like that.
I rather have him as Aladdin in my view.
Because, he has the body for it.
I will be his Princess Jasmine.
End

Thursday, October 26, 2017

A world to see in my eyes

I have a world that I live in.
Divided by a lot.
Rebellious ways are slipping.
To grasp my heart.
Gaming on Twitch.
Vlogging on YouTube.
Twitter follows is a must.
Instagram needs worked.
However people I know of.
I wish they know me.
Some know I do.
Others I don't.
The world I live in has become mad.
Where does this madness come from?
From my family, no doubt.
A ill father who needs help.
A brother who needs to be a real man, not a bum.
A mother who needs to stop harassing me to get a job at Amazon!
I wish I could list more.

But, that's all I need to say.

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Twitch Streamers!

Twitch streamers come in different backgrounds.
Different ways.
Which one do I like the most?
Well, that is something to know.
There is TheX33N,
But everyone calls him X33N.
He acts like a dork,
But I don't think he is.
One of his moderators, Meza is really nice.
He makes me laugh when he does silly stuff or when he makes a mistake on stream.
I am kinda shy around them both.
I am still working on it, you will see!
Of course there is AngelKyone.
Damn she's a firecracker!
And no it's not just her looks, you perv.
She has friends will kick your butt!

Maybop, Ecto, and Leumas, can't forget those three.
They stream not much a lot.
I know that because Maybop is married.
Ecto and Leumas work, it is true.
But, Leumas gets pick on by X33N on Sunday afternoon stream X33N does.
Just to make it fun.
No harm, because it's Minecraft!

Some others that I know like and will watch like Julia, Lindsey, Sam, and Bella, which are female streamers.
It's just weird that there these people.
Oh yeah, can't forget the trio.
Tom, Sonja, and Jordan.
I know that those three are there too.
Each of them have high followers.
I know there are a lot.
Those who I know, but hard to list too.

End

All I am asking you is to block me

All I am asking you is to block me.
Why?
Because you don't like me.
You never respond to my tweets.
It's for the best for me to stay away from you.
You are a wrestler.
I am a gamer.
We can't cross paths ever again.
You are into veganism.
I can't because of family members are preventing me.
You got your girl.
Have her block me too.
I have the streaming community got my back.
They know I don't like you.
I rather try to enjoy watching wrestling without you.
But, I am not going to make Tommy Dreamer mad.
He's a legend.
Oh yeah if you see Chris and his girlfriend who is terrible at wrestling.
Tell them to block me too.
Goodbye Austin Aries.
I am now triggered.

Thursday, October 12, 2017

Um...

CRAP!
MATT JACKSON TWEETED!
HE TWEET A PHOTO OF HIM, HIS BROTHER, CODY RHODES, AND KENNY OMEGA!
Oh dang it!
I forgot this side of me!
Why me?
That Kenny Omega, he is here! He's in Chicago!
Why am I going nuts?
Uh, he is in the United States.
Usually he would be in Japan!
But, I forgot about the ROH tour...heh.
Can you forgive me?

No.

Okay, I know why.
I been focusing on Twitch.
I should be ashamed.

Um...

A very good day

So, last night, 
I watch and host X33N.
Chat a little.
I said hi to X33N.
But, he had others in the chat also talking.
I will try again tonight.
But, I tweet at him.
Thanking him for the stream.
He like it and retweet it.

This afternoon,
I am watching Meza.
I stalled message him.
Until I saw Chibi.
Then I done it.
He sees my message!
He said my name!
I feel really good.

Both men were streaming Minecraft.
X33N stream Trollvile series.
He also had a visit by Ambrew.
Unknown to him,
Ish13c sneaked in.

Meza streams Space Astronomy.
He is figuring out stuff.
I am watching him see what he does.

I will work on my chatting skills for now.
I hope no one interrupts me watching him.
Unlike when I stream on Twitch.
Playing Minecraft Bedrock servers.
Mineplex with Cake Wars.
Lifeboat with Zombie Apocalypse. 
The phone rings.
I won't answer anyone, except for my mother and maybe my brother.

This is a very good day.

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

My thoughts

I have been going through this image in my head.
Me having sex with someone.
But, who you may ask it could be?
I wish I could say, but, it would be dumb.
I could say that he is a Twitch Streamer.
But, I can't say further more.
It's just dumb.
Let's leave that be.
I don't want to betray anyone.
Maybe because I watch him so much through YouTube.
I never had the chance to chat with him when he streams.
But, that could change soon.

Halloween

Creepy.
Haunting.
Scary.
Bloody.
Gory.
Voodoo.
Crazy things going on Halloween.
Kids Trick or Treating.
Parents drunk.
A scary movie or a theme movie for Halloween.
What would I do for this?
Maybe dress up.
Maybe do crazy things.
But, who know what is going to happen.
Halloween was fun when I was young.
But as I got older, it wasn't.
All due to my mother.
She want me have a mindset like her's.
I want to have fun.

Shy to them

I am shy when I watch X33N or Meza on Twitch.
I don't chat with others.
Maybe, just maybe I could try.
It's because I am really crazy.
Or because I betray another community.
The wrestling community.
Yes, that one.
You know.
But, it's like trying to tweet at Chris Spradlin (I don't know what he is now) back then.
I am a fool?
No, it's having a crush.
Nah, my emotions are getting the best of me.
It would be like tweeting to Tyson Smith (Yes, Kenny Omega's real name, blame Nick and Matt Jackson on this as well as Slam Sports).
Okay, I need to stop the name dropping.
This poem is ridiculous.
My friend Valentyna would have her shake.
She would know I am losing touch.
But, if I want people know who I am.
I must start to know some.
Like X33N and Meza.

Monday, October 9, 2017

How I fail him.

Oh I feel that I fail in watching him.
That Kenny Omega.
I really like him.
But, everything has been changing in me.
I feel I failed him.
I failed everyone.
How did I fail?
Well, my mind was being focus on gaming.
Also, the crap that everyone is doing on everyone else.
Maybe that is where I need to be.
Oh how I fail him.
I fail everyone.

What seen on Twitch...stays on Twitch.

What happen on Saturday Night.
Must stays on Twitch.
I know I clip it.
But, that clip.
It make me have dirty thoughts.
Seeing him handcuff to the chair like that.
I know I seen two other guys from other teams in the same situation.
But, why him?
Why was I having dirty thoughts?
The answer lies on his pictures.
Mostly on Instagram.
But, I need to stop.
What I saw on Twitch.
Needs to stay on Twitch.
That is all I have to say.
Don't get me wrong.
I like Jordan Maron.
But, what I said.
It can't be said to him.

Sunday, October 8, 2017

How far can we trust them?

Making videos.
Posting on YouTube.
Edited already.
Montaziton on.
Wait a few hours or a day.
Find out got hit.
Ads are limited.
For what reason?
No explanation.
Excuses for the fact.
We want answers.
Just get 1,000 views and they will tell you!
I can't.
I am small.
No help from them.
Be mean to everyone.
That's how it is.
Just look how mean to Casey Neistat and Philip DeFranco!
It's everyone, except for the ones that are network TV.
YouTube, what the heck?
Fix it.
Don't alienate your creators!

How far can we trust them?

Wednesday, October 4, 2017

Hair dye my way

The hair dye.
What color will it be this time?
Will it be red?
Will it be a different color?
What is it this time?
What product to use?
Me.
I use the best.
You have to find it online.
No matter what color it is.
This is my life.
It is how I am.

SallyGreenGamer

There is a YouTuber who plays Minecraft and Roblox.
She is SallyGreenGamer.
She is also a mom and a wife.
She has a lot of subscribers.
She is really awesome in a way.
Everyone likes her a lot.
With a positive mind.
She is working with other YouTubers as well.
To bring out the fun for everyone.
She is really nice in a way.
I hope I have that outlook someday.
But, with more passion.

Across the pond.

Across the pond.
Lies good people out there.
From poetry to gaming.
These people I follow and try to support.
Like Stu Bennett and Marty Scurll, that are in the wrestling world.
The poetry mind of Valentyna Holloway.
The singer Emma Blackery.
Not to mention the gamer known Meza who posts on YouTube and streams on Twitch.
Oh yeah, not to mention Tom aka Syndicate. Does vlogs and games.
Why oh why do I mention these people?
Because they are really cool to me.
I know it's a silly thing to say.
But, hey that's my opinion.

Terrible act

Bloodshed.
Fears.
Scared.
Worried.
Blame.
Was it...?
No.
No one should be.
The senseless act that happened on Sunday was terrible.
It is time America to stop the hate.
End this madness.
Before it gets worse throughout the years.

Tuesday, October 3, 2017

Connections of tragic...sorrow.

A while back I was watching a Twitch Streamer who is known as TheX33N,
but to friends and fans as X33N.
He was streaming the game Dark Souls 3.
Something was said that shock me.
Came from him.
He said that his older brother died 25 years ago.
Committed suicide. It was revealed that he was 11 and his brother 17.
I was shock.
I felt there was a connection.
Why?
My neighbors who has been living next door my whole life have lost their son in a tragic accident.
I felt he committed suicide by a car crash.
I felt that way.
I don't know why I thought about it.
It was years ago.
It was 25 or 26 years ago.
I don't recall.
It was terrible situation.
I felt the connection between what X33N said in his stream.
I don't know why it would be true.
But, I am just a fool.

Thursday, August 31, 2017

Coffee

Coffee.
Why are you so good?
Why are you so additive?
Why can't I stop drinking you?
Maybe I need some bitterness!
To make me feel not so additive!
I drink it hot or ice, but not cold drip.
Why?
Because I don't know if it is better?
I wish I know the truth.
But, people say it is good.

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

The Twitch Life?

Is there a life of being a Twitch Streamer?
I don't know.
Everyone stream.
Support those who are streaming.
Money, bits, subscriptions, games to buy.
All under the watch of AMAZON!
Yes, I do mean it.
Don't forget to be part of AMAZON!
Buy what you want!
Get crazy deals!
All from your favorite Twitch Streamer!
Is this THE TWITCH LIFE?

MAYBE?

Being Bullied

When being at school, you know there is one kid who has a problem.
They end up going after you.
They bother you.
They call you names.
They push you in recess.
They would say that they will see you after school.
You tell the teacher.
They know.
They want to get that kid to see the school counselor.
They want to make sure that kid gets help.
You know you are being bullied.

You are on social networks.
Some random person tweets to you.
Leave a comment about you.
Says your awful.
They want you to die.
They hate you.
For what reason, you did nothing wrong.
You ask them to stop.
You block them.
You report them.
They keep at it.
Created another account.
You get the authorities involved.
They investigate.
They find this person.
They have them arrested.
You press charges.
You know that you have been cyber bullied.

No matter how you see it.
Being Bullied is no fun.
If you are, tell someone.

Sunday, August 27, 2017

My Stress

I am sure you are wondering, "Am I stress, because of playing games and making videos?"
My answer is no.
You are wondering, "It got to be true! There are others who say they are!"
And I will say no.
Because that's not why I am under stress.
The stress that I have to deal with is nothing have to do with YouTube or Twitch.
It has to do with family.
Who can't stop saying stupid things.
I have a brother, who is 30.
Lying to me so much.
Sneaks off to bowling until 1,2,3,4 in the morning.
Has a overweight friend.
Way more bigger then I am.
Yet, he gets my brother overweight.
My father, who is in late 60s.
Has been an idiot since my brother was sick.
He committed infidelity.
He harass me for the last decade or so.
Especially when I was 20, he slap me.
Believes that I need it.
What man would slap their child?
Especially when they almost being an adult.
Also, he decide to pass the buck on the blame.
To my mother no doubt.
Yes, my mother, who is in her mid 60s.
She is at the worse.
Telling me that I am crazy, because I talk to my phone.
No, I recording a video with my camera on my phone.
That's what most people do.
When they vlog about their life.
Especially when it comes to family.
Family who suppose to love.
Family to show respect.
Family to respect their wishes.
But, not my family.
I been harassed by my father.
Because he wants me to get a job.
Where?
No where, because Twitch and YouTube are my job.
It's hard to get where I need to be at!
It's not easy.
Like it's not easy to be hired by anyone.
Because they don't want me.
They want an athletic person.
A skinny person.
Someone who serve our country.
Not me.
Not me who is emotional.
Not me who is not their shape.
Not me who need accommodations.
This is why I like what I am doing.
It's understanding.
It makes me free.
My parents don't get.
They believe it's a hobby.
They believe I don't get paid for it.
On YouTube, I do get a certain amount, per 1,000 views.
I am working my way on Twitch.
If I do get bits.
I believe it will become money.
I will work my way to become a verified partner.
Then the real money comes in.
Also, donations are welcome.
All I want to do what I can do.
So, I can stop this madness and stress I have.
No thanks to my family.
Besides what I do.
I like watching others.
Like Jordan Maron on YouTube.
Or Jessicka Havok on Twitch.
This is my escape.

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

This isn't Las Vegas!

Gambling.
Ocean view.
Coffee.
Croissants.
Making a hotspot wifi.
Snoring in a close room.
Buffet cost more then $12.
Food gone too steep.
Pool (Maybe).
Going to some stores with the earnings you got from Gambling.
Casinos and hotels.
Gym.
This isn't Las Vegas!
This is Atlantic City!

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Let The Problem Go

I got an e-mail from my father.
He calls me lazy.
Claims I force my mother to do the lawn.
Trying to make me very upset.
Trying to make me feel like I am a bad person.
It's what he believes.

That's false.
100% of it.
I never force my mother.
She wanted to go outside and see if the lawnmower has gas.
My mother told me that my father came and did nothing.
Didn't ask her.
Didn't bother.

He has not knowing that ever since my mother came home from the hospital,
I,
Lindsie Starr,
Took care of her.
I was the one to make sure she is fine.
I was the one who cook her food, microwave frozen dinners or cooking on the stove top.
I was the one giving her medicine.
I was the one checking on her!

I know my father e-mail my brother too.
To be honest, he has been helping, but, he lied yesterday.
Could not finish the lawn.
Did not put it away.
But, my mother did confront him.
After I told her, he didn't.

How did I know?
I was told to get the recycling bucket.
I did.
I went to put it away.
I saw what my brother done.
I know he wants to bowl.
I know I say he does.
But, he has that as a job.

So, how wrong is my father you ask?
Very wrong.
He did not bother speaking to my mother.
Trying to make me a bad person.
That's not me.
I been taking care of my mother.
I been trying to be a YouTuber.
I am having my happiness in the form of Jordan Maron, Kenny Omega, Sally Green, and others.
Those who are on YouTube.
I am not lazy.
I am a hard working person who wants to break through.
To be a popular person.
To provide a better life.

This is why I need to let the problem go.
Let the hate my father is putting on me.
He has no love for my mother, my brother, and me.
I want to be the family matriarch.
I want to be the one who has the money.
I want to start my own family.
I want to be me.
But, to begin, I need to let the problem go.

Friday, June 16, 2017

My insanity

I am tired already.
My day to be alone.
My mother is in the hospital.
My brother is bowling.
I don't give a crap what my father is doing.

I have to do everything.
I am alone in this world.
I wish I was somewhere else.
But, I can't.
This is where I need to belong.

This is my ever lasting.
My only thing.
My only sanity is the videos until I don't know when.
I am alone.

This is me.
This me going insane.
This is my madness.
Because I am alone.

Plus I don't have any friends.
Just like my mother said.
I am crazy.

Or am I?
I have a friend.
She is my only trusted friend.
I wish I have others.

But, I only trust in her.
She knows who I like.
Who I dislike.

That is all.

Thursday, June 15, 2017

My friend

My friend.
You are still working on your poems.
I hope you know that I am too.
While I'll be running my channel on YouTube.
Actually two, since I like gaming as well.

I hope you are okay my friend.
I hope your daughter is doing well.
I hope your love is doing well too.
I hope everyone you care for is well.

My mother is not well.
I told you that she has what Mike had.
I hope it's the same in the end.
My brother is going to step up and take care of the both of us.
I wish I was not in this peril of madness.

I wish I could see him.
You know who.
I know he's in Orlando for that gaming thing.
I don't know if he will go back to Japan before coming back to be in Los Angeles.
I hope he doesn't run in to him and her.
Because if he do, you know I will spread rumors.

I don't want to spread rumors.
It's not my style.
But, for the sake of meeting him,
I must stop them both.

They are like those other two.
They are horrible.
All they can't do is shut it.
They push me away.
Like she did.
Away from him.

You are my friend.
You know how it is.
Those four can get bent.
Because they will never speak to me.
EVER!

I just want to be like them.
You know the chef and his pro wrestler wife.
I want to be successful.
I want to have a man who is a pro wrestler.

You know that is true.
My friend.

My secret and my sin

The secret of this is I am in love with you.
The sin is that I love someone else.
But, the madness that I love you more then him.
Why?
You are so funny.
So strong.
You are around my age, plus one.
You are more worth it.
Even though, I enjoy him,
But, you are more of what I need.
You are mature enough.
You do what you love to do.

Plus, you keep those two around.
They are more enjoy to watch.
Heck you three are the best.
You are real more funny.
I really enjoy you.
You are who you are, despite you are under a different name.

Him on the other hand.
I don't know.
All we have in common are our height,
Our eating habits,
Cars,
And playing that game.

I am nuts,
But, you are the best.
That is why you are being both.
My secret and my sin.

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Tired

I am tired.
So are you.
We need our rest.
Can't you see.
You work hard.
So did I.
It's been so long.
Come to bed.
We can talk until we fall asleep.
I know it's not asking much.
But, I am worry about you.

Is something the bother?
Are you need to see the doctor?
No.
Okay.
I am worry about you.
Just tell me what is wrong.
I am here for you.
Like you are here for me.
We promise each other that we won't give up on each other.
Like the last one did.

You know him.
He knows you.
You know what he done.
Won't admit it.
You told me the truth.
You told me how much you love me.

We should not be fighting.
I know you got mad at me.
Because I said that I want you to win.
You wanted me to win that game.
But, I know you were better.

Come to bed.
I am tired.
But, without, I feel restless.
I am tired.

Monday, June 12, 2017

Chase for the Title

Note: This is the most ridiculous poem, because 1, it's very long, 2, I left some parts out, and 3, this is the freaking results of New Japan Pro Wrestling Dominion Show!

Last summer I predicted that someone would win a tournament.
I knew that he would be the one.
His name was only pop in my head.
The tournament ended.
He won.
The one I choose.

He would get his title shot this past January.
He would face the champion.
The champion has a nickname from a old movie from the 90s.
They go at it.
However, the champion retains.

Now here we are.
Five months later.
Now what?
He gets his rematch.
The show happened.
Everyone I follow on Twitter probably saw.
I have not saw it.
Until now.

I am not going on Twitter.
Not going on Facebook.
Nor Instagram.
May check on some videos on YouTube if my notifications go off.
But, I want to get to the main event!

Watching the first match.
A wrestler named David Finlay is in this.
He looks like his dad.
But, he looks like two other wrestlers that I know of.

More of the show.
Legends battle it off.
There is a mask wrestler called Tiger Mask W.
I went to see what it is about.
It's an anime and also the wrestler.
Who is known as Kota Ibushi.
Which I thought he was signed with WWE.
Oh, my bad.
I was not suppose to know that he's the mask fighter.

Tag Team gauntlet.
Six man.
Adam Page, Zack Sabre Jr,, Ricochet, Juice Robinson, and Seiya Sanada are a few names that I know are in this match.
Representing their teams.
Seiya Sanada's team won and retain their titles.

Tag team favorites and YouTube creators,
Nick and Matt Jackson aka The Young Bucks are going for more gold,
since they won tag gold in a company called Ring of Honor.
Challenging the tag team known as Roppongi Vice.
Rocky Romero and Trent Beretta is what they are at best.
Both tag teams are going back and forth.
Trying going for that three count.
But, instead a submission hold by Nick on Rocky.
Winning the tag titles again.
It's their six time holding them.

The tag team known as War Machine.
Are hunting for the Young Bucks for the Tag Titles they have from their win in Ring of Honor.
Set to defend their titles against The Young Bucks fellow clubmates, Guerrillas of Destiny.
Tag teams are going at it.
A mention about Raymond Rowe have been in a motorcycle accident.
Which I have no ideal that have to be mentioned in the match.
The referee is knock out.
Heel moves are happening.
Chair is involved.
Raymond Rowe does not want to cheat.
But, the Guerrillas of Destiny got him for the win.

Cody Rhodes is next.
I know he can't be using the last name.
Because WWE are jerks not letting him having it.
Because they are using it for a tag team tournament named after his late father.
However, he's in a world of hurt.
Because he's going up against "Big Mike" Michael Elgin.
I have no ideal why he's nicknamed that.
Ask Elgin yourself.
I can't.
Because Elgin block me on twitter!
The two go at it,
Elgin got the advantage on Cody by weight.
They battle until Cody got the win.

KUSHIDA is next.
That is what it has to be.
He gets his title shot.
Against Hiromu Takahasi.
KUSHIDA carries a trophy that he won.
Also he has some gold from Ring of Honor.
He seeks Hiromu's title.

Here comes Hiromu Takahasi to the ring.
Hiromu's hair style rips off of that of Jinny Jacobs some would say.
He also stole the entrance way of Rey Mysterio when he was in the WWE!
Hiromu is nicknamed "The Ticking Timebomb".
Well, let's see if KUSHIDA can defuse him.

They go at it.
They fight in the ring.
They fight out of the ring.
When will this end?
It ends if KUSHIDA survives.
Or Hiromu survives.

Both of them in a daze.
KUSHIDA still stands tall.
Hiromu not give up.
But, he taps out!
KUSHIDA IS CHAMPION!

After the match.
KUSHIDA cuts a promo.
Until he got attack by BUSHI!
Using the green miss on KUSHIDA!
I don't know why.
But, BUSHI is challenge him for one title.
However, I know Marty Scurll wants the other one KUSHIDA has!

A familiar name I see.
The name Minoru Suzuki is up.
He is the Neverweight Champion.
Putting up against Hirooki Goto.
Suzuki is a pain.
Because of him and his stable, Suzuki-gun,
has been a menace.

I do say this is true.
Just ask Colt Cabana.
He would explain about Suzuki-gun very well.
Because two of them known as Killer Elite Squad,
Made Colt Cabana and his tag partner really mad!

However, Suzuki is in a death match.
Which it's an very hardcore match.
Nobody really dies in the match.
It's also a lumberjack match too.
Which it's really bad or good.
Depends on the wrestler.

Match gets so out of control!
Suzuki tries to trigger one of the legendary wrestlers who is on commentary.
Goto and Suzuki's stablemates are making it more insane!
Goto was beat down, but, he fights back!
Suzuki is never going to quit!
The match is getting insane!
The referee was calling for three!
But, Suzuki has a goon to pull the referee out!
This is not going to end well.
Suzuki retains.
What a cheater!

After the match, an asssult on Goto.
A wrestler known as YOSHI-HASHI saves Goto.
Suzuki knows that he's the next challenger.
So afraid as YOSHI-HASHI attacks!

The next match, which it is right before the main event.
Two wrestlers go at it.
One of them is the champion, Tetsuya Naito.
Who has been disrespectful by damaging the championship belt.
The challenger, Hiroshi Tanahashi.
Wants to reclaim of the title that Naito has.
All because he respects it.
Ever since he beaten Shinsuke Nakamura for the title.
He wants to be respectful.
This is a match for the ages.
Besides the main event.

The match begins as Tanahashi attacks Naito!
They go at it!
Naito works so brutal!
So does Tanahashi!
The men are hurt by any means, but still going at it.
This is getting insane!
Tanahashi needs to end this!
He does a high risk!
But at what cost?
He hurts his arm further.
But, he needs to win!
Naito is fighting back!
Tanahashi works his leg!
Naito fights back!

The match is in favor of Naito!
It looks bad for Tanahashi!
But this keeps going!
Tanahashi has fighting spirit!
He went for another high risk!
But, Naito saw that coming!
How this is going to end?

Slaps!
Suplex!
Breaking fingers?
Every last thing that these two use.
Tanahashi is not going down!
He does everything!
But, Naito is not going down either!
Tanahashi is using a submission on Naito!
Naito can't escape!
Tanahashi is going for it all!
Naito taps out!
Hiroshi Tanahashi wins!
He got the gold!
With his arm in pain!
But this match is so epic!
The match is going to be hard to beat!

It's the main event!
Champions in the past who held the title including WWE Superstar AJ Styles!
Who will have the title!
The challenger comes out!
My choice who won the the tournament!
The one who tried back in January!

The champion comes out!
He always shows off!
With his fake money!
This madness needs to stop!

The referee warns those who is in the challenger and champion's corner no trouble.
They don't.
Who is in the champion's corner?
A wrestler known as Gedo.
Who is in the challenger's corner?
Why it's the tag champions, The Young Bucks!

The match begins!
So far, the challenger has the upper hand!
The champion wants to take it all in.
The champion goes for it, but the challenger knows.
This match is taking my breath away!
No it's not because I am cheering for the champion!

I am watching the handsomeness of the challenger!
He is so breathtaking!
The champion is trying to put the challenger in pain!
But, the challenger is fighting back!
This is so madness!

Heck the match is looking so good due to the challenger!
Matt Jackson loves the replay!
The challenger is very strong in this match!
But the champion is not going to give up!
This is so insane!
The champion push the challenger to the fence!
I gasp in shock!
The champion went to try and go after the Young Bucks!
But, his focus on the challenger!

This is really getting insane!
The champion is in pain.
I am not giving up on the challenger as I still cheer him on!
This is so insane!
I don't know how many times I will say insane, because it is!
The challenger is working hard on the champion, but, the champion is fighting back!

As the match is getting crazy!
The champion is trying to cheat!
He is going to use it on the challenger!
The challenger is fighting back!
I don't think he knows about the table!
Now he does and he knows he won't cheat!

The champion is trying to end the match!
He signal the end?
I don't think so!
The challenger is standing tall!
This match is so going at it!
This could be the end!
But, no!
2 count!

Could this be the end?
No.
But, the challenger is so doing well in the match!
The champion is hanging on!
I don't know what is so crazy!
The madness of the champion!
Or the handsomeness of the challenger!

The match got to intense!
They went to far!
They go until time ran out!
This is not enough!
This is so unfair!
This is so wrong!
This need to continue!
I don't know if I should cry!
I should cry!
This is not fair!
The champion retain!

This is so not right at all!
The match should kept going!
I don't know how to feel!

The champion is talking about the challenger.
I don't know if he wants to go at it one more time.
I wish I know.
Someone needs to end the champion!

Sunday, June 11, 2017

I Do Not Want To

I do not want to fight.
I do not want to harm.
I do not want to have domestic abuse.
I do not want my mother to be sad.
I do not want my mother take full responsibility of my actions.
I do not want to sink so low to his.
I do not want to harm you dad.

But, you don't give mom money.
You don't take care of the house.
You treat us like garbage.
You go out and screw with every last woman.

While mom and Jonathan works.
While all of you think I am doing nothing.
But, I can't let you know what I am really doing.
I am being a YouTuber.
I am being an artist.
I am being a gamer.
I am being a poet.

Once my hard works pay off.
You will be end up living in a nursing home.
Watch by nurses.
Making sure you don't leave.
I will be the winner of this family.
The smart one.
Actually mom will be in a retirement home.
Jonathan will be living in a apartment.

I will be living in Japan.
Will enjoy my newfound life.
Still be popular.

While you, dad, you will be thinking.
"Why did I treated my daughter like trash?"
Without realizing, I am better then you.
Better then mom.
Better then my brother.

But, I do not want to start domestic violence, because of you.

Saturday, June 10, 2017

How can you say I have a good life?

How can you say I have a good life?
When we live in a crappy house that dad won't fixed.
How can you say I have a good life?
When I can't lose the weight.
How can you say I have a good life?
When I can't drive.
How can you say I have a good life?
When I am worry about you and your health.
How can you say I have a good life?
When you haven't kick the man-child that is my brother.
How can you say I have a good life?
When I don't have a cent to my name.
How can you say I have a good life?
When I don't have so many subscribers on YouTube.
How can you say I have a good life?
When I don't have anyone to love and start a family.


I don't have a good life.
I am trap in a crappy house.
So overweight.
Can't drive, because no one teach me.
When I am very worried about my mother and her health.
Why my brother is acting like a man-child and can't find an apartment.
When I don't have money.
When I am not popular.
When I don't have a man in my life.

I want to have these things.
I am fighting for.
All because I have to worry.

My mother is so mean and being a fool.

Pregnant

The woman felt ill the last couple of weeks.
She was not herself.
In fact when the man came home from a show.
The woman collapse in from of him.
He grab her.
Scared as can be.
He had no choice.
But, to take her to the hospital.

At the hospital.
He was scared.
She was being checked out.
He was worried that his wife would be dying.
But, the doctor came to him.
Tell him that she is alright.
He told him where she is at.
He saw her.
She sees him.

He says to her, "Are you okay?"
She looks at him and says, "I'm fine. Just a spell"
The doctor came in and says, "She will be fine. In fact her blood test were normal, but really different"
The man looked at the doctor and wonders what he means by.
The doctor says these words, "You are going to be a father"
The man was in shock.
The woman was silent.

The man looked at her.
Then he smiled and kiss her.
She was assured that he is happy.
That they would be a family.
It would to be.
That the woman is indeed pregnant.

Friday, June 9, 2017

My Mother's Health is not a Joke!

I am sad and shedding tears.
My mother had to tell me what is making her sick.
Why she hasn't eat alot.
Why she could lost weight.
It turns out she has a tumor.
On her left kidney.
This is shocking that this is happening to her.
But, this is not a joke.
As how she describe what her co-workers says.
My mother's health is not a joke.

The reason why I am upset about it.
Is because this has happen to someone else.
His name is Mike Hopes.
Otherwise known to the indy pro wrestling fans as Tim Donst.
He revealed two years ago at a wrestling show.
That he too has a tumor on his right kidney.
I was really worried about him.
He had fellow wrestlers like Kevin Steen or to the WWE fans as Kevin Owens,
tweeted about him.
Beg his fans help him.
I was glad to see the support.
But, I had to wait to see if the tumor was benign or cancerous.
Turns out, it was benign.

He was allowed to wrestle again.
It had to be in July.
Where he kicked Nick Gage's butt at one wrestling show.
Then he won a championship title at another show, the following night.
From fellow wrestler, Joe Gacy.

I was glad to know about this.
But, now this is happening again.
To my mother this time.
I am really upset.
To think about this.
I don't know what to do.
But, have to take care of her again.
For how long?
Two weeks this time.
I really hope.
I been having a bad year so far.
This is a living nightmare for me.
I need hope.
I need happiness.
I need...



...someone to take this sadness away from me.
Someone who can make me laugh again.
I hate this,
I hate that my mother is sick.
I hate that it could happen to me.
This is not a joke.
This is serious health issue that could be really bad.
My mother's health is not a joke!
Her co-workers can go to hell!

Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Wrestlers that took Twitter in a frenzy

Two wrestlers cause twitter in a frenzy due to a gaming tournament.
They work at different wrestling companies.
I know this took place last year.
But, I hope they don't do it again.

One of them has a YouTube channel of well over 1 million subscribers on YouTube.
He is one third of a trio.
He's really crazy when it comes to cosplaying.
Also, he knows two other YouTubers.

The other is a leader of a popular stable.
The hottest wrestler in my opinion.
With those curls that he has.
I don't care if it's blond or grey and black.

They went at it last year and who knows if they will go at it again.
I wish I could see them both.
But, not in my current state.
Not right now.

I am sure Twitter will be in a frenzy again.
But, if more surprises like three YouTubers that I am sure to know.
Who did a Minecraft series with another.
Decided to crash too.

Let me say that the gates of hell has open.
If that EVER happens.
Which I know that won't,
Then the world will know.

I Am Done with You

I am done with you.
You have not said a word.
You hurt me.
Because of that I move on.

She tweet about it.
Why didn't you say that she is yours.
How come you let her tweet about it?
I am done with you.

My friend knows.
She knows that I move on.
She knows that you did not say a word.
I am done with you.

I like one man who has more funny.
Well, two, but, I don't want "The Villain" to be reeled in.
Not to mention those brothers.
Also Cody that has to swear.
I wish they know.
I am done with you.

I haven't told Patrick.
He may know.
If he read my tweet rant.
Although, he still likes you.
But, I am sure that he knows.
I am done with you.

I am done with you.
You haven't tweet to me on my birthday.
I am devastated.
I am through with you.
I hope that she is worth it.

If she isn't.
But, I am.
Then why you won't say a word?
Why you won't say that she is using you?
I am done with you.
I move on.

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

I can't believe I have to say this (Confession)

I can't believe I have to say this.
But, I am going to be in trouble.
There are two guys who I consider hot.
Both are on YouTube.
Both of them are gamers.
Both of them are buff.

But, there is a difference.
By age difference 8 years (True?).
By what else they do is really insane.
The one who is the young one does music.
Makes some on his own.
Or does remixes.

The other one.
He's a pro wrestler.
Very popular in Japan, USA, and Canada (I think).
He is also the leader of a stable who is consider to be very popular.

Reason why I say this.
Kinda don't want anyone to find out .
But, this is me that I am so insane!
Besides that no one will know of what I am saying!

End

Monday, May 29, 2017

The Honeymoon

They know where they want to go.
To somewhere warm.
To a beach.
They know where.

It was something that they want.
It was something that happened.
When he promise her that he won't break her heart.
When he know that she can come with him.

Into a paradise.
Just the two of them.
They have gone far into this love.
The love that won't never end.

To their alone time for a week.
With romance filled the air.
To pleasure it's a must.
To love.

They have not go wild.
They are having fun.
They know they wish you were here.
But, they just want to be alone.

To this on their honeymoon.
They got married a day ago.
Friends and family were in bliss.
To see them together.

But, now they are on their honeymoon.
Until they return.
They are alone.
With love.

Memorial Day

They make a choice.
They went to fight.
They serve our country.
They go into war against others.
They align with those they trust.
They seen the bloodshed.
They seen what happened.
They done their tour.
They want to come home.
They find out they can't serve.
They are discharged honorably.
They did many stuff.

But, now they are forgotten.
They are now being place into society.
But, realizing what they know.
To their fellow comrades.
Who did not survived out there.
Their bodies are buried.

They also are forgotten.
But, not to their families.
However, on this day, they are.
On this, Memorial Day.

We thank you for serving our country.
With blood, sweat, and tears.
Being separate from your family and friends.
Now we want to let you be you.
We salute you for being the best.

We will help you out.
We will help your family.

For those who are not with us.
We will help out those families as well.

Thank you all.

This laptop

This laptop that I am using is causing real problems.
It's very slow.
It's making me having a hard time watching videos.
It can't load up right.

It's useless.
I have to use it.
To talk to my friends.
To post stuff up.

My brother should took it to get it fix.
He hasn't.
He's too lazy.
I don't want to say he works.

Because him bowling is his job.
Which I feel that is dumb.
But, then again, being a YouTuber is dumb.
Actually, it isn't.
I have 65 subscribers on both of my channels.
But, my goal is to reach 1 million on both.

I know.
This is why I need my own laptop.
Not my dorky brother's.
But, this will have to do.

My 2 am poem rant

It's almost 2 am.
Why did I not seen this?
I got notifications!
Why did you two stream so late at night?
While I am asleep?

Please tell me why!
Did you have to say something?
Please tell me why!
Did you talk about that show of yours, Colleen?
Please tell me why!
Was it on another series you are doing Jordan?

Maybe, I should see.
But, I rather think about Kenny Omega and the Yong Bucks!
Whoops!
Maybe too soon!
Maybe I should thought about Tim Donst!
Sure.

It could be worse!
I don't know what's wrong!
But you see!
I need my sleep!

Maybe I should said, Marty Scurll.
Or Ben Boone.
Maybe Santana Garrett.
Oh who am I kidding, right.

It should be...

The picture

My friend Patrick otherwise known as Skits.
Post on the instagram a picture.
With a odd caption on it.
Made me kinda shock.

Made me swear.
Wondering what the heck happened?
Two guys wrestled.
Former student vs. former trainer yet again.

I rather go watch Mike otherwise known as Tim Donst.
Win the title again for his third run.
At least that's more entertainment.
Then that picture.

I wish I did not see.
But, the curiosity got the best of me.
It's hard to let go.
Because why?
I feel that I still care.

But, I rather watch Kenny Omega win the big championship.
At least it's something more better.
I know he well deserve it.
What?
Can't you take me seriously?

I can't blame my friend.
He had to share.
I am just a fool.

Sunday, May 28, 2017

Trolls

How you defy someone who mess with you or your friends online?
They are trolls.
Pure pathetic trolls.
They have no life.

They want misery onto you or your friends.
They keep on at it until you cave.
They want to see you suffer.
They will go far as you can see it.

That if you let them.

How to fight back?
Just ignore them.
They are not worth it.

If they keep at it.
Just go report them.
Unless they go far by bullying you.
Then it's considering to be a cyberbully.

Then you need the police involve and it won't end pretty.
You may have to sue.
You would have to change.
Who knows what.

Maybe you would be free.
Maybe then you are yourself.
Until it could happen again.
If the trolls has friends.
To get revenge.

The Wedding Day

It was announced on her YouTube channel.
That the two were getting married.
They decided to take it to three places.
The first wedding would take place in his home country.
The second wedding would take place in her home country.
The third wedding would take place to their adopted home country.

They will have family and friends who can be at either location.
But, how are they paying for it?
By their own money.
They wanted this way.

On the first wedding.
Most of his family and friends were there.
Some of her family and friends were there.
With happiness happening.

The second wedding.
Most of her family and friends were there.
Some of his family and friends were there.
It nearly got bad.
Because the man who had hurt her.
Want her not to marry him.
But, he was removed.
It was too late.

By the third wedding.
They had to make it official.
They had the wedding like her friend and favorite YouTuber.
They done it with some of their family and other friends who could not come.
They had done it right.
However at the wedding reception.
They change to their outfit they got married into at the first and second.

It was a sweet night.
On this their wedding day.
Sure enough they would be on their honeymoon.

Just a dream

Thanksgiving 2015.
My parents were half drunk at the restaurant.
My brother wasn't much ill yet.
I was looking on twitter for some wrestling stuff.

My parents constantly bothering my brother.
I could tell he was upset.
I had to shut them up.
So I told of a dream.
That I was being invited to a wrestling show.

It was a TV actress and her spouse.
How did my dream went into a lesbian crush?
I did not say that I love her.
But, my parents took it the wrong way.

I was being invited to a wrestling show.
That was just the dream.
My parents went too far.
Say that I am a lesbian.

I respect the community.
But, me I am not.
I don't know why.

I don't know if I am straight either.
Just a human being.
Who don't know anything is right.

But, then again it's just a dream.
To the honesty.
Plus they did it again, the following holiday, Christmas Day 2015.

My anger

How can you not explain the truth to me?
How can you not say that she is yours?
How did you forget about our birthdays?

My anger.

How can you go to a wedding to the people who are not our friends?
How can you say they are our friends, when they so rude not to say hello to me?
How can you tell me that I am crazy?

My anger.

How come he's not going for a championship?
How come he is not a champion, yet?
How come he won't say what is going on?

My anger.

How stupid stuff happen?
How people who are stupid do stupid stuff?
How can hate exists?

My anger.

How can I be so angry?
Because they people I trust somehow betray me!
Because they want to see me angry!

All because of me!

My anger.

Cars

Classic.
Luxury.
Sports.
Historical.
All of them cars.

Different kinds.
Different years.
Different colors.
Small.
Big.
Wide.
Cars.

How many cars do you own?
One.
Two.
Three.
Four?

Wow!

Cars

The Wedding at the Winery at the Shore

This took place almost two autumns ago.
I was very angry at my mother.
I said to her, "You should not go! I forbid it!"
But, my mother just keep telling me she is going.
The wedding at the winery at the shore.

I did not want her to go.
We don't know the bride, her father, or anyone on that side.
The groom, his brother, and his mother hardy speak to me at all.
The mother has talk to my mother in a rare occasions.
All I know they are acquaintances to us.

But, my mother is in denial.
She says, they are our friends.
I know that bull.
Because they don't invite us out or say anything.
I question her choices and still got angry.
She defy me because she knows "all of her friends" were going.

I got very angry that day.
In fact I walk maybe five miles or was it six.
To the anger that my mother went.
To go to a wedding that to those who are acquaintances to us.
It was sad and pathetic.

However, I felt that she got punished that night.
Her knee was bothering her more.
She should know better not to go.
Because it was very rude by the acquaintances.
To invite her and not me.
The wedding at the winery at the shore.

I know when I get married.
I will not have it there.
Because of the acquaintances.

If I ever decide to get married at a winery.
Might as well be the real deal.
In a foreign country.
That's how I see it.

The Huge Title Match

The conference happen.
Contract signed.
Almost start a fight before the match will happen.
They have been separated.
They shock the people.

The night of the huge title match.
Nerves are happening.
He knows that his goal needs to be happen.
In order to have his love.

She was watching at ringside.
Seeing her man getting in the match.
The title is on the line.
The only way they can be in love is for him to win the title.

The match begins.
Everything goes.
How long will this goes?
For as long as it can be.
Fists flying.
Kicks happening.
One counts.
Two counts.
This match is going on!

As the opponent goes for their finisher.
It missed.
He has the opportunity to take it.
Which he does!
Using his own.
To end this long match!

Is it for what it can be!
1...2...3!
The bell rings!
A new champion has happened!
With cheers all around!

Tears streaming down his face.
With the championship in his hands.
She watches him and she cries too.
She is brought inside the ring.
He is glad to see her.

The two embraced.
As they went to the back.
He had one thing that he wanted to do.
He ended up proposing her.
He got down on one knee.
With a ring no doubt.
Emerald engagement ring.

He ask her, "Will you marry me"
She says yes.
He place the engagement ring on her finger.
Then he get up.
They kiss.

The Gay Wedding that My Mother Went to

Last summer my mother attend a gay wedding.
It was her first.
She had gone to straight weddings alot.
Especially to that couple who got married at a winery down at the shore,
which I did not approve of her to go.
Because the groom, his brother who performed the ceremony, and the mother of the groom, were acquaintances to us, but, my mother is in denial saying they are friends.

But, I know that's a lie.

Anyway, the wedding that my mother went to last summer.
Was most defiantly a gay wedding.
Two men both named John.
Were indeed in love.
One of Johns is from Sweden, the home country of the YouTuber, Pewdiepie.

The other John was the school district superintendent.
Who really became our friend.
He really always says hi to me.
When I was around.
Because mostly of my brother or my mother.

The day of the wedding.
My mother went.
I was home.
I forget what I was doing that day.
Maybe watching YouTube.
Or was it talking to my friend Valentyna.

My mother came home that evening.
She really enjoy it.
She show me pictures the next day.
She told me that the wedding was so beautiful.
Nothing felt odd.

Apparently, she told me that there were things happened.
Like family involvement.
Plus, our friend had a stroke before the wedding.
I felt sad about it.
But, I was glad my mother went.

It was something that she went at first hand.
I was glad that she had fun.
The gay wedding that my mother went to.

How can I tell them

She is my love.
My ever so angel.
My savor.
My grace.

She is like me.
Female with beauty.
With strength.

I am me.
Female powered.
With beauty and brains.
Or something else.

But, the fear is that of my family.
Her family knows and they welcome me.
My family is really against this.
Because they believe it's a sin.

How can I tell them this is what I want.
That she is my lover.
She is my soulmate.
She will be my wife!

My father will condemn me!
With hateful words!
My mother will be heartbroken!
She won't accept the terms.
My siblings will be told by my father!
"She is a sinner! She will go to hell! She is not allow to be talk ever again!"

But, when they get into school.
Their teachers will speak to them.
Counselors will help in the matter.
They will let them know.
That they can talk to me.
Because I done nothing wrong.

As for my parents and the rest of the adults who believe this crap that I sinned.
They are lost.
They lost me.
Soon my siblings,
my cousins will follow.
They will rejoice.
They will welcome us in.

If that is all I could say.
How can I tell them that I am a lesbian?
It's a fear that would bother me.
But, this is now.

The Night of Intimacy and Ecstasy

With his body and head frame of six feet tall even.
To her body and head frame of five feet seven inches.
Something will happen to the two.
Something that is pure bliss.
Something that it would be bad.
Something that it would be good.

No one knows.
All they will hear it from them both.
The next day.
But, the night belongs to them.
Them alone.
With her desire to be love.
He grants her wish.

To this night.
The night of intimacy and ecstasy.
With feelings are happening.
Their mood is set right.
To this romance.

He kiss her.
She kiss him.
Holding to each other.
To prepare for what is come.
Kissing to taking their clothes off.

To their bedroom.
Clothing shows the path.
On their bed.
Naked.
Kissing.
Passion.

Moaning.
Adrenaline.
Ecstasy.
Harder.
Faster.

Heavy breathing.
Laying at each other side.
Talking.
Sleeping.

The night of intimacy and ecstasy.

The night alone

One night off.
He looks at her.
She looks at him.
They wanted to be alone.
From their friends.

She was kinda worried that he wanted to play video games.
But, he has other plans.
They went to somewhere nice.
Something that was new.
She smiled.
He smiled.

They went in and look though the menu.
Sorta expensive in their taste.
But, she can cover it.
After all, she has enough made.
Thanks to plenty of things that she done.

The two enjoy dinner.
After that it was a walk back to their place.
With the moonlight above them.
They look up in the night sky.
With the moon and the stars to see.

They go in.
They go to their place.
They settle in.
But, something was putting him into a way.
To something that he wants to do to her.

She wonders what it is.
She sees it in him.
She knows what will happen.
She wants this to happen.
She will get her wish.

The night alone.

The match

He comes out with her.
He is set on the match.
But, he is well concerned for her safety.
He put her in his corner.
His opponent came out.
Looking angry.

They get in the ring.
Introductions happen.
Match begins.
Fist flying.
Kicks happening.
Every signature maneuver at play.

One counts or two counts.
Not enough.
The opponent uses her as a shield.
So he can't hurt her.
Because that's wrong.
The opponent pushes her to him.
Just to get a win.

But, he had enough.
He knows she is hurt.
He wants to end it.
He goes for everything he got.
He goes for his finisher.
Lay the opponent down.
Goes for the three count.

1...2...3...match is over.
He wins.
She goes to him.
They both hug.
To his victory.

Saturday, May 27, 2017

The promise on the beach

The summer breeze.
The sunset.
The waves hits the sand.

As she watches the sun set with a hue of pink, orange, blue, and red.
She thinks to herself that she is alone.
But, she is not.
She is surrounded by a tall man with his strong arms around her.
Making sure that she is safe.
From the heartbreak she had.
By a former love.

He whispers to her softly.
Telling her it will be alright.
He promise her not to break her heart.
Unlike the other man has did.

He would be there even though he has to be far.
Until it was okay for her to come.
He know that she is his forever.

The promise on the beach.

Is this real or fake?

I had another dream.
With my friend.
We looked at photos.
Finding out one that looks real.
But feeling fake.

We looked at each other.
He looks at the photo and says, "Is this real or fake?"
I look at him and says, "I don't know. I feel this is real to me, but, I believe it's fake"
He sees the man that he knows.
With questionable doubt he take the photo and rip it apart.
I got mad at him.
He says, "Real or fake, he hurts you. I don't want you to think about him anymore"
I shake my head.
He smiles at me.
Pats my head.
Then says, "We are going to make memories together in Japan"
I knew he cares.

But, this was just a dream.
My friend Valentyna would be in shock.
She knows that I am hurt.
But, she would know who the heck this "friend" is in my dream.
Because I told her.

Even though the dream makes me ponder.
Is this real or fake?
Who knows.

All I know where the truth lies.

Friday, May 26, 2017

Two friends

Two friends do what they love.
To write poems.
To share their thoughts.
But, they also have other things going on.

One has to deal with trolls.
Raising her daughter.
Be the best she is.

The other is a YouTuber.
Who does play games.
Who vlogs about her life.
Who is setting a goal to be the best.

But, in the end of this madness.
The two friends do poems.
Also talk about pro wrestling.
Because that's a common interest.

But, on some interests TV shows.
Why?
Well, that's what they like to do.

Her heart

Her heart is broken.
Because of some bitch.
Who took her man.
The man she wanted.
But, can't see him.
Because her family is at fault.
Who won't help her drive.
Who wants her do it on her own.

Her heart is hallow like a log.
All she wanted was answers from him.
Maybe her friend can confront him.
But, still her heart is hallow.


Her heart maybe fix.
She likes another,
But, he could belong to another bitch.
However she had a dream of another.
Who is from Canada.
But frequently wrestles in Japan.
She has been notice him for a while.

In her dream the two became friends.
Then they work their relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend.
They had to keep it quiet.
No one need to know.
They want to keep it personal.
They don't want no one to be involve.
However, he wants to keep her close when he wrestles in Japan.
So he made her a valet.
Just to let her know what is in his world.
In return she let him being in her's.
A world of gaming.
Which he likes.
Also, he would do more.

To please her heart.

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

We are

When we are born, we look at guidance from our parents.
When we are starting school, our parents encourage us to do so well.
When we are in love or being crushed by someone we love, our parents stand by and comfort us or give us advice.
When we are making our choice, our parents stand by to it.
When we find the right one, our parents are happy.
When we start our own family, our parents are out there sharing off photos of our love ones.

But, what will happen if one dies?
Then it's a time for morning to that one parent.

Even though we continue with our lives no matter what.
We still think about them every day until we join them too.
No matter what.
We are who we are and our parents are proud of what we become.

Unless your parents are like mine, don't care what I do as long as I have a job. That counts to them.