Thursday, August 31, 2017


Why are you so good?
Why are you so additive?
Why can't I stop drinking you?
Maybe I need some bitterness!
To make me feel not so additive!
I drink it hot or ice, but not cold drip.
Because I don't know if it is better?
I wish I know the truth.
But, people say it is good.

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

The Twitch Life?

Is there a life of being a Twitch Streamer?
I don't know.
Everyone stream.
Support those who are streaming.
Money, bits, subscriptions, games to buy.
All under the watch of AMAZON!
Yes, I do mean it.
Don't forget to be part of AMAZON!
Buy what you want!
Get crazy deals!
All from your favorite Twitch Streamer!


Being Bullied

When being at school, you know there is one kid who has a problem.
They end up going after you.
They bother you.
They call you names.
They push you in recess.
They would say that they will see you after school.
You tell the teacher.
They know.
They want to get that kid to see the school counselor.
They want to make sure that kid gets help.
You know you are being bullied.

You are on social networks.
Some random person tweets to you.
Leave a comment about you.
Says your awful.
They want you to die.
They hate you.
For what reason, you did nothing wrong.
You ask them to stop.
You block them.
You report them.
They keep at it.
Created another account.
You get the authorities involved.
They investigate.
They find this person.
They have them arrested.
You press charges.
You know that you have been cyber bullied.

No matter how you see it.
Being Bullied is no fun.
If you are, tell someone.

Sunday, August 27, 2017

My Stress

I am sure you are wondering, "Am I stress, because of playing games and making videos?"
My answer is no.
You are wondering, "It got to be true! There are others who say they are!"
And I will say no.
Because that's not why I am under stress.
The stress that I have to deal with is nothing have to do with YouTube or Twitch.
It has to do with family.
Who can't stop saying stupid things.
I have a brother, who is 30.
Lying to me so much.
Sneaks off to bowling until 1,2,3,4 in the morning.
Has a overweight friend.
Way more bigger then I am.
Yet, he gets my brother overweight.
My father, who is in late 60s.
Has been an idiot since my brother was sick.
He committed infidelity.
He harass me for the last decade or so.
Especially when I was 20, he slap me.
Believes that I need it.
What man would slap their child?
Especially when they almost being an adult.
Also, he decide to pass the buck on the blame.
To my mother no doubt.
Yes, my mother, who is in her mid 60s.
She is at the worse.
Telling me that I am crazy, because I talk to my phone.
No, I recording a video with my camera on my phone.
That's what most people do.
When they vlog about their life.
Especially when it comes to family.
Family who suppose to love.
Family to show respect.
Family to respect their wishes.
But, not my family.
I been harassed by my father.
Because he wants me to get a job.
No where, because Twitch and YouTube are my job.
It's hard to get where I need to be at!
It's not easy.
Like it's not easy to be hired by anyone.
Because they don't want me.
They want an athletic person.
A skinny person.
Someone who serve our country.
Not me.
Not me who is emotional.
Not me who is not their shape.
Not me who need accommodations.
This is why I like what I am doing.
It's understanding.
It makes me free.
My parents don't get.
They believe it's a hobby.
They believe I don't get paid for it.
On YouTube, I do get a certain amount, per 1,000 views.
I am working my way on Twitch.
If I do get bits.
I believe it will become money.
I will work my way to become a verified partner.
Then the real money comes in.
Also, donations are welcome.
All I want to do what I can do.
So, I can stop this madness and stress I have.
No thanks to my family.
Besides what I do.
I like watching others.
Like Jordan Maron on YouTube.
Or Jessicka Havok on Twitch.
This is my escape.

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

This isn't Las Vegas!

Ocean view.
Making a hotspot wifi.
Snoring in a close room.
Buffet cost more then $12.
Food gone too steep.
Pool (Maybe).
Going to some stores with the earnings you got from Gambling.
Casinos and hotels.
This isn't Las Vegas!
This is Atlantic City!

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Let The Problem Go

I got an e-mail from my father.
He calls me lazy.
Claims I force my mother to do the lawn.
Trying to make me very upset.
Trying to make me feel like I am a bad person.
It's what he believes.

That's false.
100% of it.
I never force my mother.
She wanted to go outside and see if the lawnmower has gas.
My mother told me that my father came and did nothing.
Didn't ask her.
Didn't bother.

He has not knowing that ever since my mother came home from the hospital,
Lindsie Starr,
Took care of her.
I was the one to make sure she is fine.
I was the one who cook her food, microwave frozen dinners or cooking on the stove top.
I was the one giving her medicine.
I was the one checking on her!

I know my father e-mail my brother too.
To be honest, he has been helping, but, he lied yesterday.
Could not finish the lawn.
Did not put it away.
But, my mother did confront him.
After I told her, he didn't.

How did I know?
I was told to get the recycling bucket.
I did.
I went to put it away.
I saw what my brother done.
I know he wants to bowl.
I know I say he does.
But, he has that as a job.

So, how wrong is my father you ask?
Very wrong.
He did not bother speaking to my mother.
Trying to make me a bad person.
That's not me.
I been taking care of my mother.
I been trying to be a YouTuber.
I am having my happiness in the form of Jordan Maron, Kenny Omega, Sally Green, and others.
Those who are on YouTube.
I am not lazy.
I am a hard working person who wants to break through.
To be a popular person.
To provide a better life.

This is why I need to let the problem go.
Let the hate my father is putting on me.
He has no love for my mother, my brother, and me.
I want to be the family matriarch.
I want to be the one who has the money.
I want to start my own family.
I want to be me.
But, to begin, I need to let the problem go.

Friday, June 16, 2017

My insanity

I am tired already.
My day to be alone.
My mother is in the hospital.
My brother is bowling.
I don't give a crap what my father is doing.

I have to do everything.
I am alone in this world.
I wish I was somewhere else.
But, I can't.
This is where I need to belong.

This is my ever lasting.
My only thing.
My only sanity is the videos until I don't know when.
I am alone.

This is me.
This me going insane.
This is my madness.
Because I am alone.

Plus I don't have any friends.
Just like my mother said.
I am crazy.

Or am I?
I have a friend.
She is my only trusted friend.
I wish I have others.

But, I only trust in her.
She knows who I like.
Who I dislike.

That is all.